Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
