I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
