im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
