I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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