The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
How naked do you want me to be?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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