How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
