How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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