she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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