Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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