What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
