it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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