My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
