YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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