Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize