trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
