Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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