If that was your dad, he is hot
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
