We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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