$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize