I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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