is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
