oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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