He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize