actually, I'm a sock model
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
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Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
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I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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