yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
