no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
