either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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