trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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