YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
