i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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