If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
