Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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