you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
