I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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