When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize