well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize