Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
