xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I look better un-naked...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
