I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize