He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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