I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Ketchup is God's man juice
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
