Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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