I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
