real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
