You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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