and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
