i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
