There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
