she smelled like a LAN party
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
