First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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