Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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