At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
