Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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