White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
