I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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