I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
