well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Come share oat with me in your robe
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
