***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
