i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
