No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
