glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
