i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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