I'm so fucking centered right now
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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