I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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